As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I touched a dick in church today
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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