dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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