Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
