She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
