Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think we might need a safe word for this...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize