I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
