It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
