So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
