So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
