Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
