they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
3pm strippers are depressing
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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