i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
