I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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