i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Will exercising make me less horny?
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