he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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