just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
