Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
