Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
did i just pee glitter
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
