did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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