you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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