I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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