I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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