She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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