Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize