You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
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I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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