So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Houston, we have a blender
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
