the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
