did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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