I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
