i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
