i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
