I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
