Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
