Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
