Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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