Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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