doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
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Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
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Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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