I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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