just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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