Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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