i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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