So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
