The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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