remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize