I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
