I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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