he wants to bone in the snuggie
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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