Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
