did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
