Someone shit on the floor
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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