I have demons in me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
