Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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