We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
