And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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