I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
