She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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