I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
