Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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