u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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