the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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