I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
