Sry I called you an 8
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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