I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
