Your face is a jimmy john
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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