I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
