How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Randomize
