We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
